the beach

Here's a picture of the Cliff House facing out over the Pacific. It's a place where you can listen to the waves crash, take in the sea air, look out over snow-capped . . . oh wait, that's bird shit.

fantasy

The fantasy here consists of 1) the thing being written, 2) that it might one day be finished (not likely), 3) that it might amount to something upon being finished (see #2), and 4) people will wash my feet with their tears at how beautiful it is.

I'm pretty sure that if someone had direct access to my stream of consiousness they would alternate between long periods of tedium (over things like fantasies about lunch) and occasional outbursts of horror (over things like fantasies about eating humans for lunch). My theory is that the written page, or photos of the written page, or any such thing, keeps that stream of consciousness from interrupting real life too abruptly.

owl redux

I put this picture up about a year ago. The other day I saw a grown-up version and wondered if this kid had moved back to the neighborhood, now about three times the size. It didn't seem to recognize me and wouldn't let me get close enough for an updated picture. But as long as there are rats to eat, the owl is welcome to stick around.

purple

Also green.

scarhip

This was a traumatic week for the above pet. Out of a sense of decorum I didn't provide a close-up of the shaved rear leg, but it was opened up a couple of days ago to remove some kind of tumor that had prevented her from walking on it. Fortunately for the dog the surgery wasn't any more expensive than euthanasia (just kidding!!). She appears to be fine (considering she had her leg cut open) and can take a joke. If she's in any pain, she doesn't appear to know it.

insignificant

I decided to post a picture of the thing that's been causing me the most grief lately (that is, the non-human that's been causing me the most grief). It even refused to be photographed properly. But I posted it to remind myself that this grief is of a fairly insignificant nature compared to other kinds.

old

Three generations of my shoes. The youngest are actually middle aged. The middle ones are old, and the oldest have started decomposing. Too bad there's no olfactory function on this blog.

oddity

This lime has lips. Chapped lips at that. Well, okay, maybe that's not so odd, but then you should have heard what it said to me.

wet

These trees are normally out of the water. That should give an idea of the amount of flooding we've had this summer.

loud

I find that the best way to attain a zen-like feel in my yard is to employ a very loud chainsaw from time to time.

vacation

Another picture from my summer vacation, taken from the dock of the bay. About the time I took this a kid yelled out "one man's trash is another man's treasure." I don't know if this was a comment on my choice of subject or the birds' taste in abandoned food.

b.a.p. part two

Here are a few more pictures of my Summer vacation, Now With Captions!

The All-Star Game Blimp.

A church done in the mission style.

It took a whole lot of trying just to get up that hill.

I wanted to get a symbol of occult superstition, but the tarot sign got in the way.

Sausalito Marina.

bay area photos

I have identified the precise thirteen stages one goes through while travelling. They are, in order:

1. anticipation
2. anxiety
3. annoyance
4. frustration
5. fatigue
6. odor detection
7. claustrophobia
8. rage
9. turret syndrome
10. diarrhea
11. faith
12. halitosis
13. relief

After that you're where you want to be, and the fun begins. Here are a few pictures of said fun.

gray

To paraphrase Karen Carpenter: rainy days and mushrooms aaaaalways get me-ee down. Except for the mushrooms. And rainy days in July aren't such a bad thing either, relatively speaking.

Here are other people's pictures of gray.

man versus nature

Before:

After:

In your face, nature!

dream

This should be fairly self-explanatory.

oh, possom

"When threatened or harmed, they will 'play possum', mimicking the appearance and smell of a sick or dead animal. The lips are drawn back, teeth are bared, saliva foams around the mouth, and a foul-smelling fluid is secreted from the anal glands."

I know just how they feel.

axioms

"A watched pot never boils," is how the saying goes. This afternoon I put that to the test. Of course, I gave up watching eventually because it's so painfully boring, but I do believe that an empirical study of the claim would yield it a clear falsehood. Therefore, I submit that the saying be changed to the following:

"Waiting for water to boil is time misspent, unless you're into that kind of thing, in which case 'whatever floats your boat,' figuratively speaking. Such activity may also be considered fruitful in the service of scientific inquiry."

My water did eventually boil, and here's a little of what came as a result:

It's tortellini, by the way, and despite appearances, worth waiting for the water to boil.

purity

This is my first tomato of the year. It may not seem like much of an accomplishment, but considering the competition I have with various rodents, I'm very pleased with it. I should say "was" pleased, since this photo is pre-consumption.

Here are other people's pictures depicting purity.

how I see myself

This photo assignment was almost as painful for me to realize as it is for you to look at. If someone asks me how I see myself, the answer's going to depend on what day it is. Today, I felt like a problem child.