old

Three generations of my shoes. The youngest are actually middle aged. The middle ones are old, and the oldest have started decomposing. Too bad there's no olfactory function on this blog.

oddity

This lime has lips. Chapped lips at that. Well, okay, maybe that's not so odd, but then you should have heard what it said to me.

wet

These trees are normally out of the water. That should give an idea of the amount of flooding we've had this summer.

loud

I find that the best way to attain a zen-like feel in my yard is to employ a very loud chainsaw from time to time.

vacation

Another picture from my summer vacation, taken from the dock of the bay. About the time I took this a kid yelled out "one man's trash is another man's treasure." I don't know if this was a comment on my choice of subject or the birds' taste in abandoned food.

b.a.p. part two

Here are a few more pictures of my Summer vacation, Now With Captions!

The All-Star Game Blimp.

A church done in the mission style.

It took a whole lot of trying just to get up that hill.

I wanted to get a symbol of occult superstition, but the tarot sign got in the way.

Sausalito Marina.

bay area photos

I have identified the precise thirteen stages one goes through while travelling. They are, in order:

1. anticipation
2. anxiety
3. annoyance
4. frustration
5. fatigue
6. odor detection
7. claustrophobia
8. rage
9. turret syndrome
10. diarrhea
11. faith
12. halitosis
13. relief

After that you're where you want to be, and the fun begins. Here are a few pictures of said fun.

gray

To paraphrase Karen Carpenter: rainy days and mushrooms aaaaalways get me-ee down. Except for the mushrooms. And rainy days in July aren't such a bad thing either, relatively speaking.

Here are other people's pictures of gray.

man versus nature

Before:

After:

In your face, nature!

dream

This should be fairly self-explanatory.

oh, possom

"When threatened or harmed, they will 'play possum', mimicking the appearance and smell of a sick or dead animal. The lips are drawn back, teeth are bared, saliva foams around the mouth, and a foul-smelling fluid is secreted from the anal glands."

I know just how they feel.

axioms

"A watched pot never boils," is how the saying goes. This afternoon I put that to the test. Of course, I gave up watching eventually because it's so painfully boring, but I do believe that an empirical study of the claim would yield it a clear falsehood. Therefore, I submit that the saying be changed to the following:

"Waiting for water to boil is time misspent, unless you're into that kind of thing, in which case 'whatever floats your boat,' figuratively speaking. Such activity may also be considered fruitful in the service of scientific inquiry."

My water did eventually boil, and here's a little of what came as a result:

It's tortellini, by the way, and despite appearances, worth waiting for the water to boil.

purity

This is my first tomato of the year. It may not seem like much of an accomplishment, but considering the competition I have with various rodents, I'm very pleased with it. I should say "was" pleased, since this photo is pre-consumption.

Here are other people's pictures depicting purity.

how I see myself

This photo assignment was almost as painful for me to realize as it is for you to look at. If someone asks me how I see myself, the answer's going to depend on what day it is. Today, I felt like a problem child.

memory

There's a mnemonic phrase to help identify poisonous snakes, but like many of these phrases, I can never remember how it goes. "Black and yellow . . . " Then what? "Don't worry about it?" "It will kill you?" I think it's supposed to rhyme, and that the last word is "fellow," but that didn't inspire enough confidence to befriend this one.

Research tells me this is a black-neck garter snake and harmless. Black and yellow, and I still have no inclination to touch it.

large

Large is relative. For example, compared to someone who eats this every day, I might not be large.


P.S. I feel compelled to report that I shared some with the dogs.

phasmatodia

I've only just discovered that there's another name for walking sticks. This one, apparently doing a Mick Jagger impersonation, came along just about when Spring did. The screen door stays dirty for all four seasons.

amber

I made this beer pose for far too long.

More pictures of amber.

smoke

I found this picture during a fit of house cleaning. I think I took it about twenty years ago in the house I grew up in, shortly after one of my dad's poker games. True, there's not a lot of smoke in the picture, but if it were scratch-n-sniff you'd know what the air quality was like. Plus, dig those funky ashtrays.

relaxation

This is a contribution for photo friday. It is a reenactment of relaxation. Actual relaxation does not involve hopping in and out of a hammock between clicks of the shutter.

It was even harder trying to reenact relaxing in the hot tub. Not only did I fail to get a decent picture, I also had too much of some chemical. I won't go into detail except to say, "ouch."

But when I do relax, it might look like the above photo. Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh.