aloha means . . .

. . . that for the time being I will start putting my photos on facebook, since it appears I have devolved into only occasional pictures and little to say. When I have something more substantial I'll return to the blog, but in the meantime, if you're not my facebook friend and want to be, I'm easy.

So to mark this hiatus, here's a picture of my cigar box ukulele, looking better than it sounds:

prickly pair

Actually, this is a prickly trio of mostly unrelated and gratuitous photos. The first two were taken near Inks Lake on daytrip. We will call them "flower one" and "flower two."

This was taken in my backyard while I was experimenting with different camera settings. It's as if flapping is sometimes too much trouble.

wildlife wednesday

Despite the title of the post, this won't become a regular feature. Unless . . .

I vow that by the end of the summer I will have figured out how to take a sharp picture of a hummingbird. I don't, however, need any practice coaxing a smile from a lizard.

hummer

No, not the sports utility vehicle. I'm talking about the usually hyperactive little bird, shown here in a moment of repose, possibly preparing to dive-bomb some unsuspecting bald head.

a poem (in case it's hard to tell)

Hard Boiled

In the distance an agitated grackle
screams at a would-be foe,
sounding much like a Smith-Corona
XL1000 typewriter circa 1986
with auto-return and easy worderaser.
Could this be an angry poem the bird beats out,
with lines like “I’ve known the hardened taste of seed?”
Or maybe we’ve walked into the middle of a saga,
right at the tension building stand-off.
Will the curious cat at the base of the tree
get its just reward? And what of the twitching squirrel,
fretting over the dangers facing his nuts?
We’ll have to tune in at another time,
for the sprinklers have started
and the story’s author has traded
typing out a decent ending
for a cliffhanger and flapping wings.

flowers - ho hum

This morning I looked out a window and saw a twig hanging from the gutter of the roof. From my angle it looked like it could have been the tail of a possum or large rat. My first thought was that it would make a great picture for my blog. After seeing what it really was I took a moment to reflect on my blog instincts. I concluded that the many, many, many viewers of this blog might prefer to look at something besides bloated rodent corpses. So here are a few pictures of the season. Oh, I left out another "many."

"heaven just fell on the earth in the form of . . . "

Well, the line I'm quoting ends with "gardenias," but since I've previously made fun of my school for some of their aesthetic choices, I thought I should give them credit for the number of bluebonnets they've nurtured. Since none of my pictures came out particularly good, I decided to go with strange instead.

If you want to hear the line referenced in my post title, watch the video below. It will put a smile on your face!!! :)

anima

If I were a girl I'd like to be named after a flower, like Rose or Iris or Spiderwort.

a thrill a minute

I've been watching the show "24." So far in this season's 24 hour time frame, there have been 32 terrorist attacks thwarted by the same guy, a hostage crisis involving the president whose husband is in the hospital for something everyone's forgotten about because it happened 7 hours ago, commercials featuring the former president who was assassinated around season four, and a whole lotta torture goin on. Also, Jon Voigt has become Dr. Evil.

So here's the plot line I'm proposing for next season, inspired by real events in a 24 hour period. Sleeping, guarding the food bowl with your sleeping body, eating, going outside between meals and naps, and more sleeping. Sometimes intense displays of frenzied happiness. The dramatic tension will be built by standing in front of the door waiting for someone to open it. Will it be opened in time? Stay tuned.

frolicking on a spring day . . .

. . . like a filthy rodent.

join the cause

I set for myself the task of taking a picture of a shrug and trying to make it slightly interesting. The challenges included using a model whose face diminished the aesthetics of the picture, and the fact that the model wore a hoody, so that a wide shot made it look more like a picture of someone performing the Eucharist. So I'm left with a picture needing an explanation, and the hope that most people viewing like orange.

But the task was in support of a much more urgent action. Lately I've noticed people putting the gesture above into a printed utterance: meh. At first I thought it was idiosyncratic of a friend, then another friend. But now I see it is ubiquitous, the canonical spelling of a sound people make as shorthand for "whatever" or "I will now stop thinking about this particular problem that only marginally concerns me" or "it is out of my hands and I surrender to greater powers." Or whatever.

Since the first time I saw the word in print I was convinced that it represented no sound that people actually make. If it does, then it is the sound Jack Lemon made in The Odd Couple when he had to clear his sinus passages. Hilarious, by the way. But not a sound someone would make casually, which means it shouldn't be associated with a shrug.

Therefore, I call upon all phonetically responsible people to join me in rejecting this growing threat, and heretofore adopt as standard and correct a new spelling, accurate, clear, and universal:

Ehnngh.

Whatever. I will now google the newest word in the language.

campus life

This poster advertises some on-campus apartments where I work. Since I've seen that same look walking into my class ten minutes late, I'm inclined to rewrite the ad as "lazy ass? no worries! nobody gives a damn!"

The school is frequently updating its slogans. The one I've always been tempted to suggest is a line from a Frank Zappa song: "Be a loyal plastic robot for a world that doesn't care."

self-portrait as character in a john cassavetes movie

I really like and respect John Cassavetes. Unfortunately, I think age is making it harder for me to deal with the emotional demands his movies can sometimes make. Just to prepare for this picture, for instance, I had to talk a lot, cry, laugh, roll around on the floor, talk about why I did it, cry, scream, get slapped, take a sedative, pout, cry, laugh maniacally, get rejected, try to tear someone's hair out, take sedatives with whiskey, almost die, get hugged by someone who doesn't really love me, and then sit pensively as if accepting the inevitable pain that life has to offer. Then I took a few pictures and went off to work, where I generally end up repeating the process.

rat patrol

If I could domesticate these it would solve some rodent problems, though I think they've had their eye on the dogs. The picture below was taken before I could figure out a setting for the camera, and eventually they each flew away.

weeds

This picture is actually about a year old, though we're beginning to see them coming up now (amazing how that works).

the crash of '09

During the last few days I spent around five hours getting tech support people from the other side of the world to talk me through my latest computer catastrophe. At one point they had me wait about 30 minutes for my new operating system to load, so I went outside to get away from it. The picture below was taken while I was waiting. I used to identify this as a red-headed woodpecker, but have since learned that it is a ladder-backed woodpecker. And I'll throw in a Chickadee picture for good measure.

Oh, you thought I meant that crash of '09.

2/5/14

No, it's not a federal holiday just yet, but on hearing that yesterday was the birthday of William Burroughs I decided to dig into the archives for this little homage.

experiment

Today I took my dogs for a walk. I walk, and they alternate between excited spasticity and contemplative sniffing of remnants from previous sojourners. During this process, it is not unusual for them to wander far in front of me, or to stray into the prickly pear patch, or saunter into the middle of the road. I decided to see whether they would come to me if I whistled a particular tune, which is presented below. They did not. It is important to note that this was no short whistle, was not lacking in passion, and included improvisational flurries inspired by the version in the video. Still, no response. I concluded that the dogs do not care for big band music.

Later I tried to get their attention by calling their names, clapping my hands loudly, yelling familiar commands, and screaming obscenities. Currently, my test results are in limbo.

1/20/09

I thought the above photo might work as a symbolic commemoration of a momentous day. I should confess though, if it's not already obvious, that I've come down with a case of telephotoitis. I hereby resolve, in the spirit of new beginnings, to try and contain myself. But not until after showing a couple more squirrel close-ups. Some things never change.

transquirrelification

This squirrel appears to be having a nut-induced vision.

I will now google the word "transquirrelification." It's apparently not in the blogger spellcheck.

the jungle in winter

Except for the bathing dove, all these pictures were taken the same morning, and include mourning dove, titmouse, house finch, goldfinch, chicadee, and cardinal. That's an inca dove taking a bath. The cardinal looks like it's spilling seed in shock.